Last night was very interesting and it reminded me of many things….university and being reckless, going to parties thinking I enjoyed loud techno music dj dance parties, but really just wanted to ‘hook up’, drinking too much, getting emotionally drunk and having a fight with your bf/gf when you probably shouldn’t be together anyways (and at the very least deal your issues before you start drinking), Kimmy’s wedding and the party bus home (for those who where there know exactly what I’m talking about), the joy of being reckless, the joy of being the oldest one at the partying bahaha, finding the other soul you like the most and realizing why you’re on a party bus in the first place, and lastly the reason why I’m posting…telling someone off when the cross the line.
If nothing else there is one thing I absolutely hate and makes my skin crawl, and that is people telling me how to run my business. Of course it’s true, anyone who knows me well knows that in general you don’t try and tell me what to do as I am a stubborn mother fucker and just will not stand for it. The right of giving advice I reserve for those I hold on the highest esteem; my parents, my sisters, my employees, my business partners, my partner, and my best friends. It’s a small circle! If you are outside of this or if you have to question whether you fit this group you do not…and let me say again…YOU DO NOT have any place telling me how you ‘think’ I should run my business.
Yes I am an artist. Yes I have studied business. Yes I hire people to do business for me. Yes I have a lot to learn and best of all yes I LOVE ADVICE. But not if I did not sanction it first.
Last night I played a show for a wonderful crowd of individuals at The Yellow (a hostel full of GREAT people in Rome). These people where not expecting a show. They wanted to get drunk and meet people. I chose to do a set with a few more covers than I normally to get the crowd going and leave them feeling rejuvenated and involved.
I was pretty against going on the ‘party bus’ in the first place because I have a cold, I can’t really drink more than two drinks anymore and i distaste loud obnoxious music. But alas I was offered a wrist band by the lovely host and I figured Ya know what why not!!! And am I ever glad I did. It is something I would never do and so an opportunity to meet new people who are in this mind frame.
I met so many lovely people and one in specific (from Belgium) who bless her soul reminded me of my cousin Margaret at first and Loves Canada. This young sprite really had an immediate effect on me and I really hope our paths cross many more times.
Ok ok now I get to my point. First stop on the party bus was the lookout point over Rome! What a sight and at night too…free night already made. As we are getting back on the bus a guy who had come up to me before the show decided it was a good idea to give me some advice because he works in marketing and his dad played an instrument once. He had already left a bad taste in my mouth because throughout the evening starting before the show he had stood too close, asked too many questions while I was setting up, made a comment inferring I was charging too much for my CDs, and had just one too many buttons undone…oh and may I also mention had been working EVERY single woman on the bus that night (and when I say working I mean, standing to close, touching their faces, creeping in on personal space, and thinking he’s gods gift to woman).
His advice was that I shouldn’t have played so many covers. I quietly brushed it off not really a) wanting to talk business while having fun and b) not wanting to hear any advice he had. Ever comment he made I attempted to plant these hints. But he wasn’t getting any of it. Finally because he wasn’t getting anywhere with me and I simply would not listen, he asked me my age.
Let me first say that I have noooo noo no problem telling people my age, especially as more often than not they give me the compliment of ‘you look much younger’. But really I have no issues or hangups about my age, I used to…I for some reason always wanted to be older and felt more comfortable with adults. Today though I LOVE being me and I love exactly where I am in life. This time though I was ticked off.
I think my response was something close to ‘why’ with the subtexts of fuck off and that is an irrelevant question in which you do not deserve an answer. He kept trying and finally I had to put my foot down. Here’s where I stepped in and basically said ‘you’re wasting my time and I don’t want to talk to you anymore, let alone talk business with you’.
There have been many times in y life where I’ve let people like this keep talking, where I’ve put up with their bullshit and insecurities, and ultimately allowed them to devalue me. Not anymore. I am absolutely positive this guy (and I use this term on purpose as I feel slightly uncomfortable calling him a man, because that would imply he’s an adult) would never have said this to a man. That alone pisses me off.
I am in a new phase people. I have time only for those who value me first…and vice versa. I have energy for those wanting to share as much as I do, for there are far to many of you out there to waste my time on petty, misogynistic, insecure, condescending people. We all have issues folks, we all have insecurities, we are all learning, we all want to connect, and ultimately we all want to feel loved. So I now choose to devote my energy towards fans, friends, family, and business associates who reflect value, harmony and vulnerability in all interactions and communications.
Will you join me on this journey!? I invite you to step into your own power. Stand a little taller. Know you can be your best self if you allow yourself the opportunity. I will be on this path. Leave me your stories, your comments of how you’re choosing to live, interact and find yourself.
We alone are united!
…off to explore Rome…